Letters to Little Man

Dear Little Man,

I haven’t written you in close to a year, give or take a month or two. Luckily, I’ve seen you — many, many more times than I’ve written to you. Up until a few weeks ago, I had four jobs and everything was busy, and I guess life just got in the way. It’s funny how we say that, if you think about it, because life can’t really get in the way of itself. It just is and you just are and things just happen. Anyhow, I’m sorry I’m behind on our documentation. I’ve missed it.

Since my last post (last August…yes I know, I’m bad at keeping up with the times) many things have happened with you.

• You went to pre-school
• You started to actually understand fantasy football (a little)
• You taught me about Despicable Me
• You displayed the best impression of “purple minions” I’ve ever seen
• You had your first school picture taken (yes, I cried, and yes, it’s still on my fridge)
• You got a fish…and decided that “feeding it” meant “dumping an entire container of fish food in the tank all at once”
• We went apple picking together again!
• You started talking a LOT more and I love hearing absolutely everything you have to say
• You came over before Christmas and you and I spent 45 minutes on our own, opening up invisible presents and getting really excited about them. I would “unwrap” one and you would ask me what it was. I would say “a soccer ball!” or “a train!” or something else I thought you’d like, and you would get really excited and (coincidentally) open up the exact same invisible present. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun with fake presents as I did that day
• You got to play in your first big snow, bundled up like an Eskimo
• You went out West (before me…so jealous). Arizona has never looked cuter ;)
• We celebrated our 3rd Mother’s Day with J (4th if you count the year you were hanging out in my belly)
• You graduated pre-school
• You tried to jump into a pool backwards and missed. You ended up jamming your front tooth into your gums and now you look toothless. Luckily it’s only a baby tooth anyway. But even more luckily,  J called to tell me about it the day after it happened. It made me think of how lucky I was to have found adoptive parents who know how much I care and how much I would have wanted to know something like that
• You learned how to fish at the Outer Banks
• You’re about to turn four

Lots of things have happened with me, too. They just weren’t as cute, or tiny, or blonde.

• I got my first professional job tutoring children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, even though I only went in to interview for an intern position
• The Boyfriend became The Ex. It was sad and then it was normal. Then it was freeing and now, I’m happier than ever. So is he, I hope
• I applied to graduate school
• My tutoring job earned me a LOT of clients because it turns out, I’m not as bad with kids as I thought I was
• I got into graduate school everywhere I applied. And subsequently, spent a solid month trying to decide between programs
• I wrote my first article that went viral on the internet (yay Buzzfeed!)
• After a year with my tutoring job, I quit because I was working 70 hours a week. This was the year that I realized that no matter what cause you’re working for, there are things in life that are more important than a job
• I cried on my last day with every client I had, because each and every one of them was incredible, and they all taught me something about life, but also about myself
• I moved out of the first apartment I ever had on my own. I’m not going to say I teared up on my last day moving out, but I’m not prepared to deny it either
• I celebrated my one year anniversary of graduating from college
• I turned 23 and experienced the first surprise party that truly surprised me
• I chose Appalachian State University for grad school. I start this August!
• I’ve missed you every day I’m not with you. Although I suppose that’s not a new development

You turn four in a month, exactly. The changes that have occurred in the last year are a little mind blowing, so the changes that have occurred in the past four aren’t even thinkable, so I won’t even start. You are an incredible kid — with your missing teeth and zealous enthusiasm for invisible presents and preschool genius. I am lucky to call you mine. I am lucky to call you ours. And I can’t wait until I see you next.

Thinking about you always.

I love you,
Nay Nay

This past November when you came up after Thanksgiving :)

Tags: Adoption, ASU, autism, Birth mother, boyfriend, College, ex boyfriend, first apartment, first job, graduate school, graduation, long time, Missing you, nostalgia, preschool, real job, real world, school picture, Son, Summer, tutor, tutoring