preschool | Letters to Little Man

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It’s Been A While

Dear Little Man,

I haven’t written you in close to a year, give or take a month or two. Luckily, I’ve seen you — many, many more times than I’ve written to you. Up until a few weeks ago, I had four jobs and everything was busy, and I guess life just got in the way. It’s funny how we say that, if you think about it, because life can’t really get in the way of itself. It just is and you just are and things just happen. Anyhow, I’m sorry I’m behind on our documentation. I’ve missed it.

Since my last post (last August…yes I know, I’m bad at keeping up with the times) many things have happened with you.

You went to pre-school
You started to actually understand fantasy football (a little)
You taught me about Despicable Me
You displayed the best impression of “purple minions” I’ve ever seen
You had your first school picture taken (yes, I cried, and yes, it’s still on my fridge)
You got a fish…and decided that “feeding it” meant “dumping an entire container of fish food in the tank all at once”
We went apple picking together again!
You started talking a LOT more and I love hearing absolutely everything you have to say
You came over before Christmas and you and I spent 45 minutes on our own, opening up invisible presents and getting really excited about them. I would “unwrap” one and you would ask me what it was. I would say “a soccer ball!” or “a train!” or something else I thought you’d like, and you would get really excited and (coincidentally) open up the exact same invisible present. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun with fake presents as I did that day
You got to play in your first big snow, bundled up like an Eskimo
You went out West (before me…so jealous). Arizona has never looked cuter ;)
We celebrated our 3rd Mother’s Day with J (4th if you count the year you were hanging out in my belly)
You graduated pre-school
You tried to jump into a pool backwards and missed. You ended up jamming your front tooth into your gums and now you look toothless. Luckily it’s only a baby tooth anyway. But even more luckily, J called to tell me about it the day after it happened. It made me think of how lucky I was to have found adoptive parents who know how much I care and how much I would have wanted to know something like that
You learned how to fish at the Outer Banks
You’re about to turn four

Lots of things have happened with me, too. They just weren’t as cute, or tiny, or blonde.

I got my first professional job tutoring children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, even though I only went in to interview for an intern position
The Boyfriend became The Ex. It was sad and then it was normal. Then it was freeing and now, I’m happier than ever. So is he, I hope
I applied to graduate school
My tutoring job earned me a LOT of clients because it turns out, I’m not as bad with kids as I thought I was
I got into graduate school everywhere I applied. And subsequently, spent a solid month trying to decide between programs
I wrote my first article that went viral on the internet (yay Buzzfeed!)
After a year with my tutoring job, I quit because I was working 70 hours a week. This was the year that I realized that no matter what cause you’re working for, there are things in life that are more important than a job
I cried on my last day with every client I had, because each and every one of them was incredible, and they all taught me something about life, but also about myself
I moved out of the first apartment I ever had on my own. I’m not going to say I teared up on my last day moving out, but I’m not prepared to deny it either
I celebrated my one year anniversary of graduating from college
I turned 23 and experienced the first surprise party that truly surprised me
I chose Appalachian State University for grad school. I start this August!
I’ve missed you every day I’m not with you. Although I suppose that’s not a new development

You turn four in a month, exactly. The changes that have occurred in the last year are a little mind blowing, so the changes that have occurred in the past four aren’t even thinkable, so I won’t even start. You are an incredible kid — with your missing teeth and zealous enthusiasm for invisible presents and preschool genius. I am lucky to call you mine. I am lucky to call you ours. And I can’t wait until I see you next.

Thinking about you always.

I love you,
Nay Nay

This past November when you came up after Thanksgiving :)

Tags: Adoption, ASU, autism, Birth mother, boyfriend, College, ex boyfriend, first apartment, first job, graduate school, graduation, long time, Missing you, nostalgia, preschool, real job, real world, school picture, Son, Summer, tutor, tutoring

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Categories About Mama, Blast from the Past, Milestones, Posts, Things to Know, Visits

The Weirdest Day of Every Mom’s Life

27 Aug

Dear Little Man,

Yesterday, the best and worst thing that could ever happen, happened.

Ever since I met J, I’ve watched her send Sports Man to school. When I met him, he was about to go into 2nd Grade. She told me about how he didn’t want to go because they had just adopted you a couple weeks beforehand, and he didn’t want to leave you. The year after that, when he started 3rd Grade, I drove down and spent the day with her — partially to see you and partially to hang out with her since she’s not a fan of “the first day of school.” Last year, she posted about how crazy it was that he was getting so big and this year, she told us how she cried driving him to his first day of 5th Grade.

I told her I would drive down to visit next year since I don’t think she could actually drive the car through all of the tears she’ll have going on his first day of (gulp) middle school. To which she responded , “You and I might just need to cry and hold each other for a little while because on Monday, Little Man starts preschool.”

Yesterday, you started preschool.

Okay, so it’s only three days a week for half days, but still…it’s school. It’s a milestone. It’s a big event. And according to J, you were super pumped. You ran right over to the toys and the other kids and you got right down to business. You weren’t the kind of kid who cried when his mom left; you were the kind who cried when he had to leave school. But right now, school mostly consists of toys and play time, so I guess I’m not surprised. Either way, I have to admit, that makes me proud. Plus if I were J, and you did cry when I dropped you off, I might die a little on the inside. And then whisk you home and never let you go ever again. I’m weak that way.

My baby officially goes to school. And before I know it, I’ll be seeing you off to your first day of 5th Grade. But for now, you are three and you are in preschool and you are blissfully unaware of how fast you are growing up. Unfortunately for me and J and parents all over the world with children in school, we are acutely, almost agonizingly aware of how quickly you are speeding away from the infant who used to fit perfectly in our arms.

So even though I didn’t get to be there in person — and even though you loved going — I officially became a mom who cried on her child’s first day of school. The upside of this is that J now has a crying buddy. The downside is that now both of us will be crying too hard to drive either of you anywhere. That’s probably the real reason behind why school buses were invented.

It was a big day for everyone. There was laughter, there were tears, but most importantly…there were pictures :)