Cigarettes, Coffee, and Your Birth Father

11 Nov

Hello my handsome five-year old :)

The last time I wrote to you was on World Adoption Day…2014. World Adoption Day 2015 was two days ago, and it was celebrated with love and happiness…and family of course!

As I’ve said to you multiple times, your existence and subsequent adoption brought love, joy, and family to so many lives. Thanks to this blog and my letters, you’ve heard my stories and perspective on that experience many times in many ways (and after going through the archives of this blog a few minutes ago, I’m so glad that’s true! So many sweet, funny, and beautiful memories!).

Your birth father, C, recently started a blog of his own called Cigarettes & Coffee (hence the name of this blog…just so you know it was a title, not a recommendation. Except for coffee, because it’s a life source). He, too, was moved by World Adoption Day, especially since it had touched his life in more ways that one. And for the first time, he wrote about his experience with your adoption.

C and I have had our love story and our…not-so-loving story. Teenage pregnancy is hard, and our relationship was no exception to the toll it can take on young love. We went from best friends, to lovers and partners, to strangers, and (luckily, happily) back to best friends. But today, this is actually not about my story or my perspective…it’s about his.

It wasn’t until yesterday, when we were talking back and forth about his blog before he posted it, that we realized we have never talked about our during- and post-pregnancy experiences – not since we became friends again. We have a coffee date (no cigarettes) planned for over the holidays to fix that. I’m so looking forward to it, which makes me even more grateful for our renewed friendship.

C’s capacity for openness and vulnerability are palpable in the telling of his story. His blog has the ability to touch so many…if there is anyone the adoption community hears less from than birth mothers, it’s birth fathers. I think his voice will be so appreciated.

And hopefully the person his voice touches the most, is you. He loves you so much. We’ve all been through our own journeys thanks to your amazing presence, and his is just as beautiful and life-changing and all of ours. I can’t wait to see what all you learn from him as you continue to grow.

Enjoy the insight into his heart and mind here.

I love you, Little Man.

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