Tag Archives: Pictures

Facebook + E-mail = A Lifetime of Love

21 Mar

J posted this picture today and I immediately fell in love with it. People can say what they like about technology and how it’s taking over or how it’s bad for us, but I’m loving it because I can get on my computer and find things like this. I honestly don’t think I can convey how in love I am with this picture. So much is contained in it – how happy you look, how much Sports Man loves you, what it has truly done for you to have a brother…it’s beautiful to me. Like I said – what makes you happy makes me happy.

I know that I’ve told you multiple times that J always sends me pictures and E always sends me videos, but it means so much to me that they do. Even if it’s on Facebook for all of our friends to see or sent to me in a private e-mail, I just love getting so see or hear about what you’re up to. They update me constantly with the goings on of your life. It’s even better because I know they don’t do it because they feel obligated – they do it because they want to share your life with me. They want me to watch you grow up and do cute things. Even if it’s not entirely about you, I just like hearing from them period. I feel so blessed to have become such good friends with the family I chose. A family that I consider my family now.

I remember being so worried, when I was pregnant and considering adoption, that I would miss so much. Your first steps, first words, all of the other adorable things babies do when they’re growing up…I was so afraid I would miss them all or hear about them way after the fact. Happily, I got very lucky with The B’s. I see you so often I don’t feel like I miss anything. And when I’m not around, I get pictures and videos and text messages and e-mails. I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think that’s a good tip for potential or actual adoptive parents who have relationships with the birth mother: the smallest things about you – what you’re doing, the things you like, silly things you do – are things that’d we’d love to see or hear about. A picture here and there, a small update on how your favorite food has changed from grilled cheese to hot dogs, anything at all…just knowing about it or seeing it can make our day. All birth mothers love their children – it’s why we choose adoption. I understand that it may be more difficult for some to deal with than others, and without The B’s, I know it would have been even more difficult for me. They have made adoption so much easier than it could have been. They have made it so easy for me to show you how much I love you, and for that, I owe them everything.

I’ve decided I’m just going to love them forever. Hopefully a lifetime of friendship and caring and love will be a good place to start :)

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Every Family Needs Photos

4 Mar

First Family Photo :)

 

As I’ve told you – and as I’m sure you will learn – you’d be hard pressed to find a photographer as good as J. She has a knack for it, and thanks to you and Sports Man, she has a couple of pretty great subjects.

 One of the many times I was over at The B’s house, she sat down with me at her computer and we went through all of the photos she has on there. They were beautiful. Some were of Sports Man when he was younger, some were of family or friends, and some were actual sessions she’d done of other families or their kids. No matter who the subject of the pictures were, every shot just had this…ethereal quality about them.

 The vision she possess for photography is just as good if not better than photos I see at art shows and museums. Let’s just say if I get married, she’s taking the wedding pictures.

 It seems as though when she’s not even actively trying to take a good picture, it happens anyways. You’ll run across people like that in your life – people who are just innately good at something, who’s talent shines through without them even having to try. You’ll most likely be one of those people, so you should probably get used to it ;)

 After your adoption was official, The B’s came to stay for the night at Pop-Pop 3 and Grandma M’s house. We all bunked in there and I got to spend some extra time with you and The B’s. J gave me a locket with a picture of you in it (I got the picture a few weeks later), and she had a matching one. It was a way for you to be with me even when you weren’t. It was also a way to know that J was holding me close to her heart. It meant a lot to me. I didn’t take mine off for months.

 The next day, before you and The B’s left, J suggested that she take some pictures. She wanted to take some of you and I, and she also wanted to get a family shot of all of us. That’s what she called the picture of you, me, Pop-Pop and Grandma M, and The B’s – a family shot. It warmed my heart to hear her call us that, and she wasn’t kidding – family is certainly what we became.

 So here are your first extended family portraits, filled with only a fraction of the people who love you like their own. Being loved by countless people…probably another thing you should get used to :)

All photos by J

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The Only Time Tom Cruise Has Ever Made Sense

23 Feb

For Thanksgiving 2009, your grandparents and I traveled to Alabama to visit my sister, your Aunt B, and her family. We all made dinner together and enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving meal. It was delicious. I went back for seconds later that night and as I was heating up leftovers, I was suddenly nauseated. The food smelled disgusting. I couldn’t even be in the kitchen anymore because the smell was overwhelming. I remember telling your Grandma M that I just felt sick all of a sudden. It didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t eat any leftovers for the rest of our trip.

Of course, about a month later during one, pivotal doctor’s appointment, it made total sense. I was too shocked to speak when I found out; I was already 8 weeks along. I couldn’t even find the words to tell Grandma M who was at the appointment with me – I just handed her your ultrasound pictures. You looked like a tadpole in them. Pop-Pop 3 called you Kermit for while.

When I found out about you, it took a couple of weeks (try 32) to let it sink it. I was suddenly aware that I was never alone – you went with me everywhere. I talked to you a lot, even in the early days, before you even had ears. I liked it – not being alone, because back in those days, I felt alone a lot. C and I had fallen apart, but I had you and there were times when you were the only thing that could make me feel better.

After that first one, ultrasounds became my favorite thing in the whole wide world. I only had three, but they were enough to make me realize why Tom Cruise bought Katie Holmes her own ultrasound machine when she was pregnant. Of course I was (very literally) connected to you, but getting to see you was an experience beyond words. Everyone daydreams about what their child is going to look like, who they’re going to be and an ultrasound is a window into those daydreams. They are a sneak peek into what is about to be the best part of your life. It’s actually probably a method of placating expecting mothers – we have to go another 20-or-so weeks without meeting you, so we’ve got to have something to hold on to in the meantime. Not to mention that you were incredibly photogenic. Still are.

After ultrasounds, my favorite thing was getting to hear your heartbeat. The way I used to describe the sound was like helicopter blades, right as the engine was starting up. Your heartbeats were so fast! It was like a “whoosh, whoosh” sound. I wish there had been a way to record it – I can still remember the way it sounded, crystal clear in my memory. Proof is important to mothers – we feel our babies moves around all the time, we know without a doubt that we’re carrying them, but those little moments of realization, those tiny glimpses into who we’re carrying, mean the world to us. We’re literally connected to you for nine months and it’s not nearly close enough.

I loved being pregnant with you. After the shock wore off, I bought books. And then I bought some more books. I read them from cover to cover – I would have to restrain myself from reading ahead in my because I wanted to read it as it happened, but I would just get too excited. I would want to know what you were doing, how much more you had developed, how big you were…I wanted to know everything about you. I loved buying stretchy pants, I loved feeling you move around, I love what I learned in my childbirthing classes, I loved learning about you and pregnancy period. It was all so new and interesting, and the best part is that it was all about you. I made you. I grew you. I look at you sometimes and I just can’t believe that I actually created something as beautiful as you, just by being me.

Pregnancy was completely unexpected for me; not at all planned for, but truly one of the most amazing experiences of my life. You are my most amazing experience – my proudest accomplishment, my favorite thing, the best thing I’ve ever done with my 21 years of life.

I’ve loved you single every day of you since that first one. I have a feeling that will never change. I just wanted you to know :)

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In Case of Spontaneous Memory Loss

21 Feb

When I turned 14, my parents birthday present to me were my baby videos on VHS (I got a cell phone too, but that’s not the moral of the story). I know it sounds anti-climactic for a teenager’s birthday present, but I was thrilled with the videos. I had only known the older me, the me I was then – I had always wanted to know what I was like as a kid. Of course, Grandma M and Pop-Pop 3 had kept very detailed photo albums, but videos are different. You get to see yourself in action, you get to witness your personality instead of hearing about it second-hand.

In my first baby video, I threw up. Everywhere. It wasn’t exactly the romantic notion of my “adorable” baby videos like I had imagined. But luckily, that one was followed by cuter ones – I remember one of me laughing in my old bedroom, and it reminds me so much of you, just laughing at absolutely nothing but finding it hilarious nonetheless. The other one I remember really well is of me using myownbaby walker (like the one I got you) to run away from my dad. I remember that Pop-Pop 3 talked to me in every video, like he was narrating my life for me since I couldn’t do it yet.

Now, since J is a photographer and E is like lightning with the video camera and I play around with both of those mediums, you are going to have a very well documented childhood. But just in case you get the “what was I like then” bug and don’t want to wait for all of us to gather the mass media we have on you, here’s the abridged version of you as a baby, my Little Man.

You’re not afraid of anything. Not dogs or stairs or falling down. You dive head-first into everything.

You’re tough. You get right back up when you take a tumble.

You’re adventurous. Everything you see that you want to know about, you find out about.

You’re a quick learner. It doesn’t take you long to pick up on something once you’ve seen or heard someone do it.

You’ve been incredibly observational since you were a baby. I used to just walk around the house with you and you’d stare wide-eyed at everything we passed, like you were just taking it all in.

You’re mischievous. You’ve got the perfect I’m-up-to-something-I-shouldn’t-be smile.

You’re the world’s biggest daddy’s boy. If E is within a mile of you, he’d better be right next to you…or else.

You’re cranky after you wake-up from a nap. I still love you, though :)

Everything Sports Man does, you want to do. It’s cute to watch. You adore him.

You want what you want. I suppose that’s a universal toddler trait, but either way – when you want something, no one is going to stop you from getting it. That’ll come in handy later on in life.

Overall, you are and always have been a very smiley little guy.

You say “cheese” whenever someone points a camera or an iPhone at you.

You blow kisses every time you say goodbye.

You can outrun me when you have the element of surprise on your side, and I jog regularly. Not okay.

You love being around people.

When you accomplish something you’ve been working at, no matter how small it is, you smile the world’s biggest smile at whoever is closest to you. Sometimes you say “yay!”

Until you started walking, you loved being held. It might have had something to do with the fact that you were never put down (I remember J saying she had to vacuum with you strapped to her chest in the Baby Bjorn), but you’ve always been incredibly huggable so that’s not our fault.

If you’ve been sitting or after you fall down, the way you stand back up is by getting on all fours, walking your hands to your feet and sticking your tiny butt straight up in the air to regain your balance before you stand again. It’s the cutest thing ever.

You’ve always had my eyes and C’s mouth. The rest of you is just…you. 100% unique.

Everyone loves your chin. I have a feeling it will remain very popular.

You exclaim, “Doggy!” anytime a dog walks past you. Even if it’s walked past you a hundred times in five minutes.

You sleep with a “lovey” at night. It’s a type of blanket. If you wake up without it, you cry.

You stick out your bottom lip when you cry really hard.

You’ve definitely got your own personality. The grins (from the cute to the mischievous), the Liam laugh, the “come and get me” looks, even the cries – they’re all one of a kind.

And one last thing you may not know about yourself, but is undoubtedly true – you are special. To so many people in so many ways, and I feel very lucky to be able to know all of the things about you that I do. I promise to continue making videos of the things I see and memories of all of the things in between.

And if you ever get a girlfriend, I reserve the right to show, read and tell her every last one.

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