Tag Archives: Caring

The NCAA Tournament and a Happy Realization

26 Mar

Last night, I went to one of the local sports bars in my college town, and I watched UNC lose to Kansas in the 2012 NCAA tournament, 80 – 67. Your Aunt S and I got to the bar just after the second half had started and we watched anxiously until the end of the game.

I went to UNC for a little while when I first started college. I worked my entire high school career to get into it and when I got there, I just wasn’t b big fan of the place ironically enough. I still think that it is a great school and I think that anyone who makes it in deserves a round of applause (it’s competitive as I’m sure many people will tell you). I was just in the market for a smaller school which is how I ended up at the wonderful college I’m at now. But even though I switched schools, I’m still a Carolina fan at heart.

However, I realized that last night, as I watched the game that would make the Final Four, I wasn’t cheering for UNC because I was really concerned for my first alma mater. I was concerned for Sports Man.

Sports Man is a huge for of UNC. He loves them. Carolina has been his favorite college team since I’ve known him; it was actually one of the first things I realized I had in common with him. I have no doubt you’ll grow up to be a Carolina fan too – not just because it’s in the family, but because Sports Man won’t have it any other way.

Personally, I love sports. I used to play them a lot when I was younger, but I gave them up when I got braces (I got hit in the mouth one too many times and Pop-Pop 3 requested that I find a different hobby). After that, I took up ballet, and by the time the braces came off, my talent for sports had waned and I was really into dance, so I never picked them back up. I still love to watch though – NFL football is my favorite, followed by college basketball. I have no doubt that whatever sport you end up liking or playing will become my new favorite.

But I’ve also come to realize that whatever sport Sports Man likes or plays will be a favorite of mine too. Of course, his liking of sports is kind of all-encompassing so I should probably narrow that down. But the point is that I have truly come to care for him as I do for you. I love him. I actually see him as a little brother, which was not a connection I expected to make when I joined The B’s family.

I didn’t know how to see him at first – I knew he wouldn’t be like a second son or anything (although when I tell people you have an older brother who is eight, they tend to look at me like, “How young were you when you started having kids?!”) But the more I got to know Sports Man, the more I realized I cared about him as if he were my brother as well as yours. Of course, I absolutely love him for loving you, but I love him for being him, too. I find myself rather protective over him actually. Like when my heart skips a beat if I see him pegged in the head with a football. Or like when I’m desperately cheering for a basketball team only because I know he would be devastated if they lost.

I keep getting more and more out of my relationship with The B’s – more that I ever could have possibly imagined. I couldn’t be happier that open adoption was an option for me because I couldn’t have had it any other way. I need you in my life too much. But I’m even happier that it’s turned out so positively – just when I think I’ve gotten more out of our situation than I’d ever dreamed, another wonderful thing pops up. Like a little brother. And maybe instead of just gaining a little brother, Sports Man also gained an older sister.

Thank you again for bringing us together. We all love you more than words can say for that, and many other things. And don’t worry – when UNC lost last night, Sports Man wasn’t even watching the game. Apparently he was so worked up and upset mid-game about the bad calls and the bad playing that they turned the TV off before it was even over. I’m pulling for Ohio State to win this year anyways.

Facebook + E-mail = A Lifetime of Love

21 Mar

J posted this picture today and I immediately fell in love with it. People can say what they like about technology and how it’s taking over or how it’s bad for us, but I’m loving it because I can get on my computer and find things like this. I honestly don’t think I can convey how in love I am with this picture. So much is contained in it – how happy you look, how much Sports Man loves you, what it has truly done for you to have a brother…it’s beautiful to me. Like I said – what makes you happy makes me happy.

I know that I’ve told you multiple times that J always sends me pictures and E always sends me videos, but it means so much to me that they do. Even if it’s on Facebook for all of our friends to see or sent to me in a private e-mail, I just love getting so see or hear about what you’re up to. They update me constantly with the goings on of your life. It’s even better because I know they don’t do it because they feel obligated – they do it because they want to share your life with me. They want me to watch you grow up and do cute things. Even if it’s not entirely about you, I just like hearing from them period. I feel so blessed to have become such good friends with the family I chose. A family that I consider my family now.

I remember being so worried, when I was pregnant and considering adoption, that I would miss so much. Your first steps, first words, all of the other adorable things babies do when they’re growing up…I was so afraid I would miss them all or hear about them way after the fact. Happily, I got very lucky with The B’s. I see you so often I don’t feel like I miss anything. And when I’m not around, I get pictures and videos and text messages and e-mails. I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think that’s a good tip for potential or actual adoptive parents who have relationships with the birth mother: the smallest things about you – what you’re doing, the things you like, silly things you do – are things that’d we’d love to see or hear about. A picture here and there, a small update on how your favorite food has changed from grilled cheese to hot dogs, anything at all…just knowing about it or seeing it can make our day. All birth mothers love their children – it’s why we choose adoption. I understand that it may be more difficult for some to deal with than others, and without The B’s, I know it would have been even more difficult for me. They have made adoption so much easier than it could have been. They have made it so easy for me to show you how much I love you, and for that, I owe them everything.

I’ve decided I’m just going to love them forever. Hopefully a lifetime of friendship and caring and love will be a good place to start :)

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