Tag Archives: Happy

I’m a Comin’!

16 Jul

The official statistics are in. It’s been

– 73 days since I saw you last (Boo!)


Which is

– 73 days longer than I like to go without seeing you


But now we have

– Six days until your second birthday

Four days until I see you

– Three days until I fly down there


Not that I’m counting.


But maybe I’m not the only impatient one…

So I have decided that this video (thank you E!) means that you’ve just been missing me like crazy and you can’t wait to see me again. Don’t worry buddy…I understand the feeling :)

One + Two = Twenty

22 Jun


Do you see that adorable, 10-day-old baby? That’s you (shocking, right?). You know what’s more shocking? In exactly one month, you’ll be two years old.

I love that you’re getting bigger and learning more, I really do. My only issue is that you’re turning two, but it seems like you just turned one. And when you turned one, it seemed you were just a newborn. So my concern is that in the blink of an eye, you’re going to be three. Then four. Then 20.

But right now, you’re still a baby because you haven’t made it to two yet. But even when you do, I’m going to be thrilled. I’m going to sing and dance and play with you and thank God I got as lucky as I did having you in my life. I’m going to celebrate and laugh, because it’s impossible not to when I’m around you. And also because now that I think about it, I’m still going to call you my baby when you’re 20 anyways.

28 Days… :)

30 Days, 30 Ways

20 Jun

I have down time at my internship for the first time since…ever (it turns out digital media is rather hectic. Who woulda thought?). And since I think about you the whole time I’m here – partly because I have pictures of you hung above my desk and partly because I read about babies and kids all day – I just wanted to use my free time to tell you some really exciting news…

I get to see you in exactly one month! Eee!

Just thirty days and you’re all mine for the weekend. So I thought that – in honor of those (hopefully) super short 30 days – I would do one of my favorite things: think about the many, many reasons you light up my life. So here it goes: 30 reasons I love you in honor of the 30 days until you’re in my arms. I can’t wait!

I love…

– How you call me “Nay-Nay”

– Your smile

– How photogenic you are

– That your eyes look like mine

– Your little “toddler walk”

– That you’ll still let me carry you every now and then

– What a kick you get out of climbing up and down the stairs

– How every time someone claps, you say, “Yay!”

– How intensely you focus on the toys you play with

– How you like to play the same games over and over, and they never get old

– How much you love tractors

– The dimple in your chin

– How I can only make out two or three words when you talk to me, but you keep babbling. It’s adorable.

– How you’ll eat anything

– The face you make when you eat lemons

– How you always seem excited to see me

– How smart you are

– How much you’ve grown

– Seeing pictures of you and I together

– When you blow kisses

– How you always give me a good-bye kiss when I leave at the end of a trip

– How you brought me to The B’s

– Your laugh. It’s the best sound in the world.

– How easily entertained you are

– How just thinking about you can turn my day around

– Your beautiful blonde hair

– How peaceful you look when you fall asleep

– How fearless you are

– How curious you are

– How no matter what, I’ll always be your mom and you’ll always be my Little Man

I have a million more – no exaggeration. Luckily for me, I get to spend the rest of my life telling you every single one.

I miss you and The B’s like crazy. See you soon, handsome. I’m counting down :)

All of the reasons wrapped into one :) I love you.

Words Are Like Nets and Bubbles Are Like Love

13 Jun

You have no idea how in love with that smile I am. I’m using my lunch “hour” to stare at it – and wouldn’t you know, it’s making my day better! I really needed a pick-me-up today and even from a distance, you and The B’s (especially J, who took this picture) always know how to get the job done.

You know, when I think of how much I love you, I think of this quote by one of my favorite authors, Jodi Picoult: “Words are like nets – we hope they’ll cover what we mean, but we know they can’t possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder.” I hope that the words I write to you can convey how I feel for you, but I love you so much, I don’t think they’ll ever be able to. I’m gonna give it my best shot though :) I can’t wait to play in some bubbles with you – one month and a week to go!

The Games Adults Play Too

19 Mar

I’ve never given it much thought, but I’m sure if I tried, I could come up with the best 10 days of my life. Great days spent with friends, days I’ve done things I’m proud of myself for, days filled with moments too meaningful to forget. Your birth would top the charts, of course. Actually, most of those days would involve you. And if I decided to make this list, yesterday would probably be on it.

You were in town almost all weekend. My entire Sunday was spent with you, but The B’s let me get in a little Liam time on Saturday night when they surprised me at work! I have a slight tendency to show you off when you’re around so you always have a lot of fans at my restaurant. You ran around the lobby, made faces at Sports Man through the windows, and blew me kisses good-bye. You didn’t stay for long – the ice cream shop was calling – but as you were leaving you said, “Bye Nay-Nay!” It brightened up my whole day.

Yesterday, we just played all day. We played on the lawn mower in the garage. We played with the dog. We ran around outside and played with bouncy balls. We played with my old toy kitchen. We even played with my video camera (which you have a tendency to steal and keep). But my favorite games are the ones that are so simplistic that most people wouldn’t even consider them games. The most ironic thing – they’re the ones you love the most.

You and I have a couple of games we play together. They’re so silly that I’ve never actually come up with names for them, but we’ll call this one The Chair. What you do is that you run down the hallway in my parent’s house into their bedroom. In their bedroom, they have a big, squishy, yellow Lazyboy rocking chair. You run down the hallway and straight into it, always on purpose. Then you run over to their bed, turn around and wait for me to do the same thing, which I always do. Then you laugh hysterically, turn around, run back down the hallway into the living room and fall down on the floor – again, on purpose. I follow you and do the exact same thing. Then we lay on the floor and laugh and the whole process is repeated. You love it. Every time I see you run down the hall and out of sight, I know I’m being summoned.

Another game is one we made up yesterday. You would throw your “lovey” (the blanket you sleep with) into your portable crib and then run over the bed right across from it. I would get the lovey, throw it over your head so that you couldn’t see and then I’d run around pretending like I couldn’t find you. You would pull the blanket off your head – ever so dramatically – and then I’d “spot you” and give you a huge hug, ever so relieved that I found you. You would just laugh the whole time. We played that game for a solid 20 minutes yesterday. We can call it The Lovey Game.

I love making up games like that. I love that the smallest things – a face I make, a noise I make, something silly that I do just to make you laugh – turn into your favorite things. It’s so easy to make you happy and when you’re happy, so am I. That’s why my days with you are my favorite, why my visits with you would easily make the list of the best days of my life – because I spend them with the happiest baby boy I know, which makes me the happiest girl around. I smile all day, I laugh all the time, and I learn new things when I’m around you. I watch kid shows and I play silly games and I get to be a kid with you. Although I know I am young relatively, you keep me youthful. I would try to tell you how happy you make me, but I don’t think they’ve invented words for a quantity that large yet.

Another game we play is called the Smelly Feet Game. I would tell you about it, but I think I’ll just show you instead :)

You, Me and C Makes Three

29 Feb

Me and C at Senior Prom

I’ve been in love three times in my life, but as of now, only two of those times will matter to you. Because one of those times was with you. The other was with your biological father C.

I don’t know if our story will ever matter to you, mine and C’s. I think it will someday. I think that eventually, how you came to be will be important to you. And the good news is that our love story is a good one – one I’m happy to retell, one I look back on and mostly think of fondly. We didn’t last, as I’m sure you will be able to tell soon enough. We are on very good terms now, even if it wasn’t always the case. And personally, I think the beginning and the middle matter much more than the end.

We fell in love in high school. We were on the high school newspaper together, so we’d known each other for about a year when we started dating. I know most people don’t believe that kids as young as we were – 17 for me, 16 for him – have any idea of what love actually means. I think it’s subjective. I think you are the only person who has the right to judge how you feel. And we certainly felt head-over-heels for each other. We said “I love you” for the first time on March 1, 2009 and every day afterwards for almost a year.

I remember one time when I was having a bad day, he took me for a drive, cranked up the loudest, most obnoxious rock song he had in his car and told me to scream as loud as I possibly could to get it all out. We both started yelling over the music and pretty soon, I couldn’t stop laughing. Another day, we went to a guitar shop (C is a ridiculously talented musician) and looked around. I could tell he wanted to play one, but we started to leave because he didn’t want to bore me. I stole his keys and wouldn’t let us leave until he played. I supported him. He cared about me. We spent the time we weren’t together texting or calling. I spent every Sunday at his house with his family. He brought me coffee to school in the mornings. We kissed and hugged and held hands. Even thinking back on it now, I find myself smiling. We loved each other.

I just think it is important for you to know that you exist because of love. Though you were unexpected, I never, ever want you to think you were an “accident.” Accident implies a mishap, an unfortunate or undesirable occurrence, and you my precious baby boy, are anything but – you are my everything. You are the result of two people experiencing first love. Two people who would have done anything for the other, who cared about each other more than anything else in the world. Two people who fall more and more in love with you every day.

True, our relationship didn’t survive my pregnancy. But that is absolutely the result of things that were done or said by us – not you. We were young, and in the end, youth can prove to be just as unstable as it is exciting. But I do believe we were in love. When we were in love, I truly thought I was done with dating – C and I were a forever kind of deal, and at the time, that thought went both ways. We truly meant it when we said “I love you,” and we still say it today – it just has a different connotation now.

If anything, our love for one another might mean even more now than it did back when we were in the first throes of love – after surviving the things that happened during my pregnancy, when there were some times when I definitely did not feel loving towards him, the fact that we still care for each other now is incredibly meaningful.

We grew up very fast – our lives were not about us anymore, and though I came to terms with that faster than he did, that knowledge definitely impacted us – it changed us both forever. But the best kind of love is that kind that changes you; the kind that touches your soul and leaves impressions that never fade and that you never forget. And wouldn’t you know, I think it’s the best thing that has ever happened to us. Because you are definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

There is so much more to our story. One day, if you want, I’ll tell you the rest of it, and C will help me. We’ll get to share little pieces of the love that brought you to be the gift that you are. We’ll get to relive our story – a story that was already unique and special, and now, it has the best ending of all :)

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