Today, I am headed to Charlotte, NC to speak at a fundraiser for Bethany Christian Services.
I won’t lie, I’m a little nervous. I remember when I was in seventh grade, I made it to the final stages of the middle school science fair. This meant that I had to speak in front of the entire school about my science project (it was about evaporation and whether heat sped up the evaporation of water in sponges or not). I was incredibly nervous. The only thing that calmed me was Grandma M: she told me that to keep calm, I just needed to keep my feet planted on the floor. That sounds silly and simple, but it was a life saver. Every time I got nervous, I just stood as firmly as I could on my two feet and I felt the ground beneath me — I was steady…as nervous as I was, I felt steady.
I won the science fair that year. I beat out all of the 8th graders and everything. My evaporation project took the gold — not just in the seventh grade, but the whole school! I was so excited. Well…I was in shock for a couple of days, but after that the excitement kicked in.
Tomorrow, I’m speaking in front of a lot more people than the people that were in the 6th-8th grade science fair convention. I know what I’m going to say and I’m pretty sure I know how I’m going to say it, but that doesn’t stop me from getting “the shakes.”
I’m speaking about my adoption process with you. I won’t give away any spoilers, but my speech starts with something that happened in school recently, and ends with what a blessing you (and The B’s) have been to my life. I feel like the ending is no surprise, but I’ll still keep it under wraps. Just know that every time I have a bad day, I think of you and my mood improves. You are my angel, my baby, my savior.
So tonight, when I’m speaking in front of (possibly) hundreds of people, instead of thinking about how firmly planted my feet are, I will think of you and your beautiful smile and the way you say my name. I adore you. Ever single inch of you. You are perfect to me, and I will love you no matter what. For as long as I shall live.
And tonight, when I get the jitters, I will be thinking of you, just like I do every day.
I love you Little Man. Forever and always.